Half-Assed Reviews
Portal 2 – A Half-Assed Video Game Review
09 months ago
After years of patiently waiting for Episode 3, Valve drops a surprise on us in the form of Portal 2. No one is really complaining however because Portal 2 is exactly the sequel that we’ve all wanted. They’ve added co-op gameplay, newer larger levels, more story and more characters to really make the game fresh.
Click above to watch the review
It’s not a long game and truth be told, it’s not a very hard game but it is a blast to play. Valve has announced that this summer, they will release free DLC to keep portal fresh and interesting.
Werewolf: The Last Warrior – A Half-Assed Video Game Review
010 months ago
Werewolf – The Last Warrior for the Nintendo Entertainment System. Similar to Altered Beast in the way that you transform from human form to Werewolf form. You’re not just a regular boring Werewolf however, you’re a Werewolf with big sharp blades for arms.
Click to view the review!
The game featured good game play with some great music but frustratingly bad controls and a high difficulty level. It’s definitely worth adding to your collection, even if you play it just once.
Little Nemo The Dream Master – A Half-Assed Video Game Review
011 months ago
Little Nemo is a side scrolling adventure game unlike most others. Based on a movie based on a comic from the early 1900s, you play as a little boy named Nemo.
To progress through levels, you have to feed candy to certain animals who will let you ride them and take advantage of their powers. Throughout the game, you have to locate keys to unlock a gate at the end of each stage.
The game has great graphics and decent controls but it’s incredibly difficult. For such a cutesy looking game, it really kicks your ass… or at least my ass.
A Half-Assed Review of Road Rash 3
011 months ago
The greatest series of racing games to be released for the Sega Genesis, I talk about the 3rd and final game for the beloved console. It’s a mixture of Hang On with lots of violence, long races through twisty hilly roads in 7 different countries. This game was a staple of my childhood and 16 years after it’s release, it’s still one of my all time favorite games and has a permanent place on my shelf along with it’s 2 older siblings, 1 and 2.
Go ahead and click on the Road Rash 3 image below to see some game play and hear my thoughts of this amazing title.
Fable 3 in 400 Words
01 year ago
Today we have another 400 word review. This time, it’s Fable 3 for the Xbox 360.
Fable 3 was a sequel that I had been waiting on for a few years. Unfortunately, it was a bit of a disappointment and really felt that it could have been an add-on to Fable 2. In this game, you’re one of the sons of the hero from Fable 2 who became the King of Albion. You get exiled from the castle after your brother, the current king, decides to be a douche to the people of Albion.
You start your quest joining a group planning an uprising against the kingdom to overthrow your brother and change things for the better. This sounds great and all but let’s stop talking about the story and talk about the actual game itself.
Go on, continue reading.
Gran Turismo 5 in 400 Words
01 year ago
Gran Turismo 5 is a fine racing game with piss poor execution. I won’t waste much time talking about the driving dynamics of the game because they are probably the best in the racing game world at this very moment. Where GT5 really falls flat is the presentation.
The most important thing about a gigantic racing game like this is the menu system. The menu is pretty and the music makes me want to throw on a robe, sit by the fire place, smoke a cigar and drink scotch. Once you try to navigate around the menu however, it’s a totally different story.
WTF is going on here? Over 30 buttons on one screen!
Still interested? Read my 400 word review here.
A Half-Assed Followup of Red Dead Redemption
01 year ago
After beating Red Dead (Finally) I decided that I wanted to talk about the ending of the game a little bit. I was a bit disappointed about it and felt like venting.
Clink the link below and watch the video to find out what I thought about the ending and more.
A Half-Assed review of Red Dead Redemption (360)
21 year ago
Come with me on a magical journey. A journey into my very first video game review. It’s rough, it’s mediocre and it’s half-assed. It’s the Half-Assed video game review of Red Dead Redemption on the Xbox 360.
Do not call this game “Grand Theft Horse”. It is very far from it. This game is possibly one of the best games of 2010.
With amazing graphics, a huge world, a great combat system and a great story, this game will keep you locked in for a very long time.
Sit back and enjoy my half-assed review.